new soooong up! chekitawt!

--------------------

take me to infinity

i sit on the curb
waiting for chance
to pass by.

i put my head
on my hands
waiting for
a mere whisper,
a mere echo of hope.

where you'll take me,
i don't know.
just show me
the infinity
my soul yearns for.

an indefinite cloud
stifling a spirit on fire.
i put my hand overthe flame
never letting it
fade away.

where you'll take me,
i don't know.
just show me
the infinity
my soul yearns for...

where children fly kites in the rain.
where slippery hands clamor for hope.
where weary soul after weary soul find strength.

take me there.
take me there.

been months since my last post. i remember this time last year, i would religiously post nonsense here, giving my friends a view of my currently lifeless life.

now life's a-whirl, and everything's kind of fuzzy. oh well...so anyway, i decided to let the pressure cease a bit, hence the post. if you're bored (and if you miss me), read on.

CLUELESS.
it's been almost eight months now since i've started working. and i'm sorry but i still feel so frustrated. first, i feel that this isn't really what i asked for. i wanted the position. i wanted the technical and ideal job description. but i so was not expecting that THIS was going to be the job description. ibang iba.
I know i work hard. i stay long hours in the office. i work my butt off. pero no matterhow hard i try, i still can't seem to get things right. i don't know what happened. i guess what i've gone through the past 8 months with this one person soooooooooo did NOT help build my confidence in my knowledge in marketing. after eight months, i still feel like the most clueless person in our department.

bu wallowing in self-pity and trying to find someone to blame won't help any. it's about time to do something. sabi nga nung first boss ko (for whom i'm so thankful for), it's time to pick up the pieces and start anew. yun nga lang, i'll have to go through the difficulties of trying to piece everything together again. it may take time. it might make people and other bosses mad and disappointed. but i don't care. i'm not going to blame anyone anymore. i'm going to take responsibility for it (and cover HER ass again) and do something about it.

yun nga lang, i didn't ask for a job that will traumatize me forever.

but in all fairness, the past 8 months helped me know myself better--my strengths and weaknesses. i didn't know that i can be just s tough as i am weak. now i know i'm a well-balanced person! heehee =p

i'm just happy that i can still sleep peacefully, knowing that i don't make people feel small. i feel sorry for those who ego-trip and still manage to sleep peacefully at night.

DISCONNECTED.
since my boss resigned, and my partner left, i've been left alone with three brands to handle, and 2 new product launches to prepare for. needless to say, i'm soooooo disconnected from my
personal life. i work even during lunch. i don't get to YB anymore. i don't even get to talk to my good friends in the office. i get in touch with friends through email and text nalang. i don't even get to the going-home-bonding session with my dad! pano naman kasi, i'm always tired na. grrrrrrr! this is soooooo not HEALTHY! (sabi nga nila if you want to get somewhere, you have to make sacrifices. BUT HELL! I DON'T WANT TO SACRIFICE TIME WITH THE PEOPLE I LOVE NOH!! **it's all about time management, babe! haha**)

first disconnection:
from my political life. my whole college life was all about politics. i love my political party, Tapat, and i love the dynamics of our student government. it's election time once again and i missed basically everything! i heard about the other party and their platform, which was something worth applauding...NOT!!! sayang. i was impressed pa naman when i learned about their vision: TOWARDS A PROGRESSIVE AND EMPOWERED CITIZENRY. i said to myself, FINALLY! they finally got OUR drift. they finally understood what Tapat has been striving for all these years.

but no. i was disappointed. it was nothing but a marketing ploy that was not well thought of, but nevertheless proved to be a threat to Tapat and our platform.

pero chong naman, their specific action plans include a JS Prom (are you kidding me?!), Pahiram Charger (are you serious?!?), BaTsi (Batch Tsinelas...what the?!?!), and such.

wow. i feel so empowered. YIPEEEEEEE!!! (not!)

but truth in action and intention will prevail. and i bring you...

THE SEVENTH EXECUTIVE BOARD SWEEP OF ALYANSANG TAPAT SA LASALLISTA!!!

congratulations! good job kids! now show those Lasallians what it truly means to be empowered.

second disconnection:
from my musical persona. hell! it's been ages since we last played!!! pano naman kasi last year tin and bing were having their thesis. now naman jay and tj are reviewing for Board. Tapos bing's leaving pa soon!!! pano na yung first concenrt and album natin?!?! *wink, wink* haaaaaaay. music is my release. and i don't even get to play on my own anymore since i usually drop dead the moment i get home.

whattalosah!!!! let's jam you guys!!! please?!?!?!?!

third disconnection:
from my friends. sa sobrang busy, i don't even get to talk to the people closest to me in the office. in the office a! ganun ako ka eeuuuurgh!!! thank god for last night and alst friday night. at least i got to reconnect with them somehow.

check out http://michpwet.multiply.com for pictures.

pero one thing lang. i love you guys! and i miss all of you.

A-PUNCH AND A-KICK!
kailangan ko na talaga magpapayat. seriously. i'm going boxing with an officemate. originally, my good friends in the office, jenny, yvette and i, planned to do muay-thai. then naging dancing. then naging fitness first. as much as i wanted to join them, di naman kaya ng budget. =( kahiya nga kasi ako pa nagyaya and everything.

pero this time. i'm serious. i'm going to do boxing at the Fort. I'm a believerin boxing. first, si Juday. Tapos si Boom Manibo. Then si BEN CABIGAS ang aking ultimate inspiration.

amazing!!!! =)

watch out world! papayat din ako! bwahahahaha! =P

oh gosh! summer na!!! yipeeeeeeeeeee!!!

yun lang.

bow.

after about 10 years, i got to log on my Block's friendster account. i usually stay away from the horoscope section (i'm really not that superstitious) but i decided to read what they say today. since my Block met at around May (hehehe senti?!) for our freshmen orientation program, our Zodiac is Libra (haha baduy!). it's not really my sign (i'm an Aquarian), but i read it anyways. what was written there was downright creepy. it's as if they're reading my mind....basta creepy! here's what it says:

The Bottom Line
Remember: Dreaming about a change is a waste of time. Making a change is progress.

In Detail
You may have something you'd like to share with someone, but if it's a deeply personal matter and you don't feel comfortable about it just yet, you'll be right to hold back. While you have no problem keeping quiet about a secret that belongs to someone else, being quiet about your own top-secret news is a bit tougher. That doesn't mean you shouldn't share, only that you should take special care when you're deciding whom to invite along for this underground ride.

guilty as charged. =)

dear patsies who went to janice's thing (and to those na gusto narin maki-usyoso),

for some strange reason, my browser can't support multiply. i downloaded and used firefox but still, ayaw. so to everyone who wants to look at quany belting out his mighty mighty voice, go check him out at:

http://photos.yahoo.com/mich_c12

i'll be uploading my other pictures too, so come back nalang once in a while...

to the computer whizzes out there!
can somebody tell me why all of a sudden my browser can't support multiply? is there anything that needs to be done? thanks guys! =)

i was staring at my computer screen waiting for the right idea to hit me when i suddenly heard my child speak to me. (hindi ako psycho. pero malapit na...) i suddenly remembered what my friend, Rinka, wrote some time ago on feeling a strong connection to her child. (yep, inexistent, but as she put it, "bugger off.")

i thought i'd share it again with you people. this piece is really beautiful. i was moved to tears when i read it.

- - - - - - - - -
to keep.
by rinka romero

i'm not sure what possessed me. but i felt a strong connection to my child today. (yea yea, yet inexistent, but hey. bugger off.) it just felt so real. in writing this piece i was moved to tears. promises i have made to keep. voila.

i will make you the kind of lunch your friends will ask for.
in the lunchbox of your choice.

we'll take walks.
and talk of all your fleeting, everchanging ambitions.
today, an astronaut.
tomorrow, a basketball player.
the next, a teacher.

and we'll treat each one with reverence.
with solemnity.
as if that's where your life would go from hereon.

i'll listen to you when you tell me about how your day at school went.
i'll take note of all the names of friends you mention in passing.
i hope to make it so you never have to answer to the question
"who's kevin again?"

i'll remember, my darling.
i'll hold on to each name.
and make a memory.
so you feel i want to be a part of your world.
i'll make it easier for you to tell me stories of pranks,
and petty fights,
and who lost to whom at basketball today.

and in the grocery, i'll let you pick something you want.
regardless of the price.
you can have that ridiculously priced spiderman juice tumbler.
or the hotdogs with the freebies.

and some days i'll make you miss class to take you to the beach.
just you and me.
we'll jetski. and kayak.
and make sandcastles like in those sappy hallmark cards.
get toasted in the sun, then come home to your daddy
and laugh hysterically when he asks why we're so dark.
and he'll probably know, but he'll pretend he doesn't.
so it remains our little secret.

i won't force you to wear what you don't want to.
you can wear your cowboy hat to mass, sweetie.
i won't love you less.

and when you're older,
you can pierce your ears, love.
i won't love you less.
wear bandshirts.
grow your hair long.
wear grunge eyeliner, if that helps define who you are.
i won't love you less.

when you get drunk
i'll make sure you're not afraid
to call home and have me pick you up.
i trust you'll know you messed up
without me rambling about the dangers of alcohol overdose.

if you become a musician
you can practice in the garage
i promise not to bark at the drummer
or make you stop even if it's loud and driving me insane.
i will walk in every now and then
to listen to you,
catch your soul in the music that you make
and tell you you are beautiful.
and loved.
and mine. (thank god.)

til then, love, i will sing you periwinkle lullabies
and tell you stories before you go to sleep.
and kiss your eyes.
and tuck you in.
and try to walk back to my room struggling,
not wanting to sleep away from you.

i will hold you tight and make you feel this house is home.
but each night after you've gone to sleep
i will walk away:
practicing the art of letting you go,
everyday rehearsing.
so when you need to become,
i can disengage from this embrace and let you be.

i will not make it hurt for you
to walk away from me when you have to.
and do what you have to do.
and i will not stop telling you
that you are beautiful.
and loved.
and mine.
(thank god.)
- - - - - - - - -

sigh. i miss you, rinka bru!!!

BAAAAND PLUUUUUUG!

there's a fabulous new band out there. name's PARAMITA--named after a Tibetan Buddhism mantra for perfection. love their music. upbeat with soulful lyrics. their music reminds me a bit of Imago's. but theirs has a stronger pull on me. perhaps it's ria bautista's deep and soothing voice...or the hypnotic riffs of the guitar that tell you to dance or to just shut up and think...their music carries me somewhere where i can be invisible and let loose all the emotions bottled inside. great great great music! (by the way, their drummer...is also the vocalist....A GIRL!!! you go girl!!!)

hahaha! Paramita now needs to pay me for free advertisement! hehehe... :p

there's one particular song that struck me...

----------
Panaginip Lang

ngayon sa 'king pag-iisa
nahihibang sa kaiisip
kung iiwasan ka,
hahayaan ko na bang
tuluyan nang ibaon sa limot ang ala-ala mo..

at ang lahat ng iyong mga sinabi
sa akin,
maari bang limutin ang nangyari sa atin?

nguni't bago ka lumisan
palayain ako
nguni't bago ka lumisan
palayain ako

ako pa rin ay nagtatanong kung
meron pang kaunting pag-asang
magkabalikan,
pero ayoko nang maulit pa

sumisigaw, lahat ay sinabi sa 'yo
(ano ang iyong madarama)
kung malaman mong ito'y panaginip lang
(ano ang iyong maiisip)
kung bukas ay di ka na muling gigising pa
----------

watch out for DAHON and RINKA as well...ethereal music with spellbinding lyrics to match!

suportahan ang musikang pinoy! rakenrol!!! :p

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it's been a while since i last posted a "crazy-happy" entry. heck, i miss being crazy-happy! anyway...

yesterday after "office hours," i went with some of my good friends at the office to megamall to run some errands. they need to buy something for work, and i was searching for a cool gift for my pamangkin who just had his birthday. and naturally, we landed in SM Toyland...nyahaha!


yvette, me, and jc desperate for a second childhood...nyahaha!

saya! pero para kaming mga nakawala sa mga cage namin e! dinaig pa namin yung mga bata dun! actually, para akong nanay na nag-aalaga ng dalawang bata. bakit?! ang yvette, kumuha ng beach ball. tapos binato nya kay jc. at ayun, they played a different catch game na medyo violent yung dating...habang naghahanap ako ng toy truck. At eto, dun pa talaga sila naglaro sa masikip na aisle. tapos, hindi pa na-kontento. dinamay pa ako. doink! ho-well! hehehe super kulit grabe!

it's HALLOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEN!!! yup, there were loads of masks and other halloween stuff displayed. hehehe naglaro ulit kami. tried on masks. scared some kids off. looked crazy while we took pictures. looked like 5-feet-plus-plus-tall-6-year-old kids. hehe, babaw ba?! ok lang, saya naman! =p


raaaaaaaawr!!!

ooooh! me excited! christmas is just around the corner! whoopeedooooo!

wala lang...i'm sooooooooo tired but i just gotta share this!!!

this morning i found out that one of my close friends in the office, jenny, got engaged last night after 3 years of being in a relationship with her boyfriend. wala lang...im sooooooooooooooo happy for her!!! as in! =)

but...

somehow it feels really different. super different if you know someone who's ALREADY engaged and when someone you know gets engaged. diba?! wala lang...she's not just anyone, e! she's a friend for crying out loud! and she's only three years older than me! makes me feel really old. but don't worry, i'm not going to get desperate yet. the line for desperation is drawn 4 years from today. nyaha!

(pero PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! PANO NA TAYOOOOO?!?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! i think it's time for us to think about the future, girl! so sino na ba sa kanilang dalawa ha?! heehee...)

but hey! this is going to be my first wedding. i mean, the first wedding i'm attending that's not a relative's or a family friend's. this is going to be so much fun! i told her i'd help her find a good designer. she already told me that the motif's going to be green. shuuuux! im excited na to the max!!!

hmmm...i gotta start working on that wedding..i'll have to make sure that i'll look like a goddess on HER special day...nyahaha!

==================

ichabod.

a fallen star
bestowed with disgrace
(glory departed)
rise from the ashes
perils thine awashed
(thy glory departs)

in seeing shadows
moving in on me.
in seeing shadows
moving in

i crumble and cry out.
clinging to the
sidebars as you
slowly pull out
anguished i plead
despair flee...
come back to me.

. . . .

flee. flee from me.
come back.
come back to me.

==================

read the saying on the left side of the screen...

super true! in other words, there will always be people who will put you down. the happier you are, the more it makes THEM enjoy trodding on you....sad noh?! haaay...so true...

got this from janice pwet.

laugh trip. =D



bow.

been really long since i last posted an entry...
been really long since i last went blog-hopping...
been really long since i last watched TV...
been really long since i had my nails done...
been really long since i last conditioned my hair...
been really long since i slept decently...

in short, pagod na ako.

and how ridiculous is this?! it's been only a month! isn't that a bit too soon to start complaining??

the title of this entry i got from a friend's blog.

and it's true.

i can't wait to get away. every day. the clock ticks fast. but not fast enough.
i can't wait to empty my head. every day. thing is, they just won't go away.
i can't wait to close my eyes and leave this world behind. every day. but my eyes close only to focus on a vision of you, looking like you always do. you messed with my peace of mind.
and now i ask, when will peace come back to me?
peace...light...love...um...HUH??!?!

then the tears just started flowing. out of frustration. out of confusion. out of anticipated humiliation. out of fear of making a mistake. out of fear of being talked about. it's pretty much like walking in the dark with my senses numb.

but sacrifices have to be made. if I want to get somewhere, i gotta start learning the right attitude. but one day, i'll show you. i'll show you that i'm not stupid. that i can do it...i'll show you that i'm better than you. you're only older. kaya angas ka e. oh well...they say that we don't have to quit whenever we're faced with trials...after all, it's not the load that breaks us down, but how we carry it. o diba!?

ON A LIGHTER NOTE! (as you are somewhat an insignificant fly buzzing around my head, i see no point in brooding over YOUR thoughts)

even though i sacrificed some serious "alone" time, i'll never sacrifice time with my friends and family. they're the only ones keeping me sane these days! actually, i'm loads of kwentos overdue! been to tagaytay with my college barkada. went on a drinking binge at 6 in the evening with high school friends (HELLO?! 6pm drinking?! what were we thinking!?). sharpened my manual driving skills by driving rondel's car at 2 in the morning coz he's dead drunk (at twice pa to nangyari a!). been brought Mango Bravo by rondel coz he wanted to thank me for driving. played a block-rockin' show at racks, el pueblo (HELLO!?!? like RACKS!?! as in RACKS?!?). and lots more. haaaaaaaaaaaaay.

the point of all these?

though it feels as if my life's scattered in pieces on the floor, it's really not.

doink!

current mood: frazzled
current music: punk you!

there are sooo many times when i just feel like running back to the past so i could be a child again.

everything was so simple...
everything that we did was so pure...
so innocent...
all that we did was out of pure enjoyment of life.

as we grew older, our thinking got more complicated, hence making us less contented and more problematic. hassle noh?! i keep asking, why can't things stay as simple as they were when i was a kid? and i answer myself: things do stay as simple as they were. it's us who become more complicated. it's actually US who make life difficult for...US. come to think of it...who chooses to worry about this? who chooses to give a damn about that? who chooses to brood over something insignificant, acting as if it'll be the end of the world if we don't get our way? who chooses to pack her/his mind to bursting with thoughts and worries?

ME. You. Us. All of us.

it's just so sad that it had to turn out that way. i know that if we all had our way, we'd choose to just be kids again. but most of the time, we make the wrong choices, realizing our mistake only when it's too late...when things become too complicated for a child to handle. what fun! =D

i actually share the same thoughts with a friend, who claims he still sees himself as a child. and wala syang paki kung ano gusto isipin ng tao. it's actually funny how people's minds work. he says before pag sinabi niya na gusto niya maging bata ulit, parang tinatawanan siya. pero ngayon, everyone wants to be a child again. nyahaha! now who's weird?!

anyways. i have a 6-year-old inside of me. that kid is so frivolous...and so excited about life. sobrang mababaw lang ang kaligayahan. she lights up whenever i walk down the art section of a bookstore or whenever i play with the dog. but sometimes, little mimi cries when michelle's world goes awry. and when this happens, i try to keep my cool for that kid who's about to lose hers. it's extremely hard but someone's got to do it. i wrote a song for her...
________________________

carousel.

close your eyes little one
and let your thoughts fly.
of playground fights
and scary nights.

brush your fears away,
let the shimmering lights
take you away
to your dream land.

hush little one...

chorus:
aboard the merry-go-around,
and leave your world behind.
float away with the notes,
just let yourself be.
i wish your life could again be
as simple as A-B-C,
counting 1-2-3...

take shelter where you cling,
hide in his shadow
but when it becomes too fast,
too unbearable

hush little one.
let me take you home.
________________________

sometimes, it's really like that. kung san yung takbuhan mo pag sawa ka na sa mundo, yun pa yung nagpapalala sa problema mo. hirap talaga maging tao noh?! :p

but on a positive note, realizing our mistakes and learning from them means growing up and being stronger. if only growing up wasn't so difficult...haaaay...

argh! eto na naman ako e!

yeeeeeeeeh!!! congratulate me! it's my first week as a yuppie! pero honestly, i feel as if it's already been 10 years...oh well! but i'm having fun naman so far kaya ok lang! =p

i really like my work. but i'm still in that stage wherein im not sure if i really want to stay in the corporate world for long or if i want to be my own boss and make a business out of my hobbies. but i was thinking din na hobbies are hobbies. period. it's something that makes you a well-rounded person and it's the biiiiiig cushion na you lie on when you're tired of the routines. it's not supposed to be something na kailangan problemahin pa...right?!

i was talking to an officemate (OH MY GOD DID I JUST SAY THAT?!?) about it yesterday. sya rin kasi may hobby. he does photography and he seems good naman. he actually worked for a professional photographer before. e ako din kasi i want to take up photography more than anything else e. he says that time comes when you think that parang everything you're doing's just the same and parang feeling mo you're not getting any better. and then later on, baka mawalan ka na ng gana! ayoko naman mangyari yun! oh well! bahala na! HELLER! like one week palang ako sa woooork!!!

although people are great in the office (it's like a huuuuge barkada in a sense) and the workload, though heavy, is okay naman, i can't help but miss my friends and my bandmates. wala lang. as you know, yesterday was very magulo. dami rallies and people screaming for GMA to resign...RG and i work in the same office. and we just started talking about issues the way we used to at the tambayan..then we started reminiscing about what it would've been like if janice, elvin, kate, jay, boom, and the others were there. so we called and rounded up everyone! RG, janice, elvin and me ended up together at Metrowalk. we stayed in Cravings and just started talking. it was really good to see some old friends talaga! i loved our discussion and i loved the food (THANKS RG dear!). wala lang...i miss you guys!!!

and then RG and i were off to my officemate's house in Xavierville for this party. YUP, I'M ACTUALLY HANGING IN THE NORTH. kasama pa namin si elvin. hehehe punta pa kasi dapat ponti after. anyways, so we hung out for a while, sang some songs on the magic mic, and i was forced to drink 2 shots of brandy. ew. now i got these nasty rashes all over my back! as in buong back!!

since it's northern territory, i'm actually afraid to go anywhere without kasama. hehehe so i bummed a ride off an officemate, but we needed to go to katipunan first kasi she's meeting up her college barkada. i was a little out of place but ok lang naman kasi they were nice! but no matter how nice all of them were, i still can't relate to the kwentuhans and all. hehehe. so i ended up jamming with the band!!!

YUP! I JAMMED WITH A BAND! i miss tin, bing, prijm, jay, and the music we play more than anything else. especially now that i'm feeling the whole office girl vibe. it was such a welcoming release to jam with these guys. rockoustic music nila, though on the pop side. but hey! that's music parin! i sang Head Over Feet with a shaky voice that didn't quite reach the right notes (hey! i have an excuse! i was still all red and shaking from the drink they gave me at the party!). and then instead of sitting back down, i jammed with them. i did percs. they actually wanted me to play the guitar and sing but i didn't trust myself then kasi nga i was shaking and all...but nevertheless, i still jammed with them and di naman ako nagkamali-mali! hahaha! but i got this nasty bruise on my hand from the tambourine. hehehe :p afterwards, the guitarist and i kinda talked for a while about...music, what else?!? and then he said something na parang i seem like a natural on the stage, and that parang i've got an ear for music since i never went offbeat. so sabi ko i have a band. then yun, kwentuhan, la la la la la...then sabi nya i have a nice voice daw...hehehe *blush* saya! sarap pakinggan! sabi ko nga what a way to end my week! sayang! wala akong pics!!! hmph! next investment, digital cam!

gosh! yun lang! i should do this more often!

bow.

to work that is! hehehe i thought i'd share my day with you, that is if you're interested to know, anyways! :p

yesterday was really great! it was a bit slow on the uptake since it was my first day but nevertheless, feel na feel ko na office girl ako. i mostly read stuff yesterday. then for lunch, i was out for 2 hours! taena! kala ko nga il be late, e i'll be attending my very first meeting pa naman after lunch. the newbies that i was with during lunch break weren't the least bit worried because they had their bosses with them. my boss was back at the office preparing for the meeting and i was at eastwood, eating! nyahaha! :p

i had a gooooood impression on my first day. the company's great, the people are great, the workplace is great, the job's great (although im sure that in a matter of weeks, i'll be writing here again to vent pent up stress! nyahaha)!!!

URC's a good company. most of their products are market leaders. i'm handling the Magic brand, which includes Magic Flakes, Magic Creams, etc. they also make the Jack and Jill stuff like Piattos, Chippy, etc. great company. the atmosphere's very light and not so uptight. even the big bosses like the GM eat lunch with us. haha :p but the compensation and benefits don't place too high on my scale. but hey, i'm not after the money. if it's the learning you're after, grabe, this is a great company. in fact, ang daming bago sa Brand kasi ang bilis ng turnover ng employees. ang dami napa-pirate! as in!

the people. veeeery accomodating and nice. PLUS, PLUS! dami gwapo...nyahaha! *blush* well not naman SUPER dami but enough so my eyes could have a feast everyday! :p of course since first day, medyo shy shy and quiet effect pa ko. next week, nyahaha! :p but no matter coz everyone understands naman how it is to have first day jitters. great people, great people! what's more, Brand people are REALLY young..as in..so everyone could relate with the other. at eto pa, ANG DAMING SOUTH PEOPLE! yeeeah! no problem na kaming lahat sa transpo since we could all have a carpool. punyeta! ang mahal na ng gas and toll, thank goodness for the restraining order!

i was scared nga baka pagtripan ako since bago..buti nalang 3 kaming bago..nyahaha! di ako nagiisang gagaguhin! :p

my first meeting. it was exactly how i imagined it to be. the crackers group had a meeting with the advertising agency because the agency people had to present something. the big people were there (the GM, the Biscuits division head, my boss, the advertising director...SHET!) and my knees were shaking out of fear na baka pagsalitain ako..buti nalang hindi naman ako pinasalita! i sat there listening to the arguments as they progressed. i was given some stuff to read beforehand and i was told to make comments. wala lang...the discussion is pretty similar to MARKPRO, MARKAD2, and thesis arguments. even the same as some of Tapat arguments. although takot parin baka tanungin ako bigla kung ano tingin ko sa isang bagay. pero i'm happy to know that the advertising director and i have the same comments and questions, although syempre she was able to articulate it better. hehehe hindi pa sabaw utak ko after 8 months! YEHEEEY! :p

anyways, so far, so good. first day was fun. can't wait for my first week. sana it'll go just as good! i've waited 8 loooooong months for a job like this.

i must say, the wait was worth it. :)

bow.

S E L F - P I T Y .
P R I D E .

two bricks that'll drag you down, down, down...

until you drown...

until you die...

i finally have a job! thank God! after exactly 8 months of waiting, i finally have it! yahoo!!! hahaha! i've been bumming around for 8 months...yiiieeee!!!!

it was fun doing nothing for a while. but after about a month of doing nothing, you get restless. at least i have some stuff naman to keep me busy. nothing serious but i was enjoying hanging with friends anytime of the day, dabbling with my artistic side (i make my own belts now! hopefully i can make enough belts to introduce a "line" and then maybe proceed to selling them :p and with my sweldos, i'll buy materials na so i can embellish slippers na. i got loads of designs but no capital! *wink, wink*), jamming with my bandmates whenever, "beaching,"....mga bum stuff talaga! hahaha!

i got two weeks left...i'm going to enjoy being a bum while it lasts...then it's "hello corporate world!!!" i just feel so lucky that somehow i got enough time to be with myself and get to know me a little bit more. i'm kind of glad i didn't start working right away when i graduated. i think everyone should take at least a month off before working and just try to do "nothing" stuff. it'll make you more prepared for the corporate world. and it'll make you feel good too! give yourself a break. after all, when work starts, it'll be kind of hard to make time for that break!

PLUGGING!!! Buy magic flakes! it's reeeeeaaallly good! haha! biased! :p

this is one of the belts that i'm making. it's not done yet. i have to attach the straps/ribbons pa. it's sort of "patch-y" and "quilt-y." i used scraps of tela then embellished it with loads of beads and buttons! while it's painstaking to do beadwork, it's nakakaaddict! those little dots you see there? those are beads! the larger white round things are buttons. what do you think? pwede ba?! :p

hehe...

while bloghopping, i stumbled across these two entries about men and i had fun reading them...i found myself saying "oo nga noh!" i decided to post the two entries here. wala lang! makes you wonder what goes on in the minds of men. makes you want to understand them...but most of the time trying to understand how their minds work makes your head hurt! no offense, guys! i'm sure you feel exactly the same way about women. *grins wickedly*

so ano boys?! totoo ba o hindi?!?

___________________

ang north boy at ang south boy.
*bow*

ang north boy, kung gusto ka, liligawan ka.
ang south boy, hindi mo alam, nililigawan ka na pala.

ang north boy, crush siya ng barkada mo.
ang south boy, gustong makatambay ng barkada mo.

ang north boy, liligawan pati nanay mo.
ang south boy, babarkadahin ang nanay mo.

ang north boy, tahimik at polite kapag kasama ang pamilya mo.
ang south boy, makwento at masigla kapag kasama ang pamilya mo.

ang north boy, first date ninyo sa nakaka-impress na restaurant.
ang south boy, first date ninyo ay movie tapos coffee.

ang north boy, bongga magregalo.
ang south boy, simple pero meaningful ang ireregalo.

ang north boy, sasama sa yo at sa barkada mo.
ang south boy, isasama ka sa barkada niya.

___________________

the freaking truth about men
this is why we, women, find it really hard to find the man of our dreams.

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men aremarried.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nicemen, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nicemen with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice andsomewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that areheterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, arecowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome,somewhat nice and have somemoney and thank God are heterosexual, areshy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move,automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

GO FIGURE!!!
*sakit sa ulo*

janice said nga in her blog:

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

Personally, this what makes men so cute.

They need women to be better, mwahahahahahaha.

DON'T YOU JUST AGREE?! HAHAHAH :p

pero alam nyo...true love waits...cheesy...

...but true. :)

*cheers!*

the heart seems to hold the answer as to who we really are. we may project an outward image of the person we would like to be while hiding in our hearts the person we really are.

it is in the heart where you find what we truly love. it is in the heart where you find the things we treasure. unless you can get to know the heart of a person, you'll never really know them. this is where God has an advantage. He is able to look deep into the heart of a person and know who he/she really is. He sees what we love and treasure. He sees the longings of the heart. He also sees when our heart has been broken. there are tears the heart sheds that never reach the eyes. He sees them.

therefore, when He sees a heart that has been broken, He knows how to heal it. when He sees the tears of the heart, He can wipe them away. when He sees the wrong kind of love, He warns. when He sees longings, He satisfies.

amen to that.

deep thoughts...confusion...rambling...pfft!
______________________

listless thoughts flee.
don't need you to sustain me.
i close my eyes
and the light sprints
away with you.

i'm indisposed,
struggling as i keep hold
but you're slipping away
the wind took you away
on her wings.

this search for clarity
has gone out of hand
it left me marred
(it left me scarred)
now overcome by weariness
i find that
the only way is
to let go.

it's a jaded's grip.
you're slowly breaking free.
try though as i might
i can't stop
pining after the light.

well...the past week has been emotionally stressful for me. i'll save the finer details of the story for private chikahans nalang. but it really is emotionally burdensome when you've been working long and hard for something that you really REALLY want...then finally, it's within your reach...before you know it, you're practically clutching it with your fingertips...then BAM! it's taken away from you, without you expecting it to happen. and what hurts the most is that this something is what you've been waiting for a loooooooooooooooooooong time, and that you don't know why it happened since you gave everything your best shot naman! masakit...as in huhuhu!

but i learned that this is going to happen probably every once in a while in my whole lifetime. so i figured, it wouldn't hurt to start learning how to cope. but it's really hard to think positively when the light you're trying to follow suddenly sprints way ahead of you, leaving you in semi, sometimes total, darkness. i cried, i wallowed, i self-pitied (for a while lang naman :p), and i splurged...so now, medyo ok na ko! sad ako, but i don't really feel bad. thanks to my wonderful friends who gave me words of comfort and encouragement, and my family whom i know supports me all the way. salamat talaga! as in!

Special Mentions: To Trisha, for taking me out last saturday night and food tripping in friday's with me. girl, we gotta stop eating like that or else di talaga tyo papayat like kelly misa! :p To my sis, Char-Char, for letting me talk and cry myself dry. i love Tin and Bing, too, for being with me on that day, even if through phone lang. :) salamat at isang malaking hug para sa inyo!

shit. how drama can i get?!?! that sounded like a friggin' paawa-effect-slash-acceptance speech! hahaha :p

anyway, since i've been kinda down these past few days, i decided to post something that i'm sure will make all of us laugh. well, some may have comments na "ANO BA YAN?!?!?" at probably hindi matawa, but instead wonder what's on the minds of these people habang ginagawa nila yung ginagawa nila sa picture. these are some "WHATTAFACE!!!" blooper shots of my friends and family na suuuuuuuupeeeeeeeeeeeer nakakatawa!!! i hope that, if by some chance, you who's reading this entry is feeling kinda down, e, matawa ka rin maski for a while lang. think of it as a therapy nlng. hahaha! it may not be much, pero at least tatawa ka! libre pa! :p (medyo sinira ko na sarili kong dignidad sa post na to...)

__________

SANDMAN SHOTS!
-> it is during our sleep when we are the funniest. hehehe...'nuf said...i blurred some of the faces of the people in the picture to protect their identity. jahe naman! pero nakakatawa parin! :p you can guess but keep your guess to yourself!!! wahahaha :p



after a wild night, this friend of mine just crashed, all dignity forgotten! HOY! MAHIYA KA NAMAN!!!


snooooooooooooooooooore! ANG INGAY!!! check out the hands...ang poised sobra!!! i needed to blur the face kasi super nakakahiya ata!!! :p


AY! hehehe :p


i didn't blur barbie's face anymore kasi di naman super panget e! yung nakakatawa yung "SHH" pose nya while sleeping. di nya alam na nakaganyan sya habang tulog! promise! hahahaha! *shhhhh...*
WHATTAFACE!
-> minsan, feeling natin cute yung mga "roar" or "smirking" facial expressions. pero paglaba ng picture, hindi pala...ay!



feeling namin ng kuya ko, e, napaka adorable namin sa pic na 'to...sige na..pagbigyan na at tumawa nalang!


dahil sa sobrang takot ng dad ko sa dentista, e, nakalimutan na nya dignidad nya. tuloy, pumayag magpose ng ganyan na wala dentures nya! in a sane mind, di nya to gagawin! nasobrahan ata anesthesia nya e...hehehe :p


ako mismo, iniisip ko parin hanggang ngayon knug bakit to ginawa ni tin e..di ko tlga gets..pero nakakatawa! :p hahaha!


ang panget. 'nuf said. *luvya bing, pero aminin mo, ang panget tlga natin dito. nagmukha akong babalu, nagmukha kang petrang kabayo.*



show me the NGUSOOOOOOOOO! my little pamangkin trying to make his tita laugh...hehehe


si jonmike. nainggit ata kasi di sya sinama sa picture. ang sama tuloy ng tingin nya!!


gusto nyong ngumiti? wala lang..baka lang gusto nyo...


edrie...um...hehehe...ayoko na magsalita baka batukan mo pa ko pagnagkita tyo e...


eto si janice. isa sa mga co-pwet ko. pero di ko magets. mukha syang constipated dito. buti nlng ako project! NAKAKAHIYA KA JANICE!!!
HULI KA!
-> mga caught-in-the-act pictures kuno...hehehe...well, kasama narin sa category na ito yung mga intentionally weird poses...hehehe :p



this is the funniest picture i have ever seen lately!!! wala lang! nag-tripping lang sina ben! this is the typical "longkatuts" pose...o teka ha! hindi kami masama!!! kung ang japanese at korean may signature pose, ang mga helpers din natin meron!!! ben! easy lang baka pagkamalan ka!!! hahaha! :p luv ya ben!


etong tatlong to, may ambition tlga tong mga to mag showbiz. at hindi lang basta basta showbiz..gusto nila action stars...kaya eto, Charlie's Angels daw sila, male and Filipino, este, Chinese version. well actually, Bugoy's Angels. hehehe :p di naman masamang mangarap ed, joel and stephen!


eheheeh...naseseduce ba kayo? actually, di ko gets to e..nangseseduce ba kayo? or nagaangas? basta alam ko si arnold masaya. yun lng..ed? steef?


eto, Tagaytay Scandal to...'nuf said.


um...jonmike? di ko gets...hehehehe


ayaw ni joel na picturan sya while putting on his shoulder support. but we took a shot anyways...hehe! sorry joel! WHATTAFACE!!! :p


nakakita na ba kayo ng swapang? o eto! ayan a! nakakita na kayo!!! *jeto, sana sinabi mong gusto mo ng solo picture! sinaktan mo pa ata si cherish e! sumbong kita kay joel!*


IVAN: ahahaha...meeeeeeehn!!! (whoozy...hehehehe)


fans ba kayo ng F4? o, meet the Philippine and a bit meaty version. patok to pramis!!! :p


gagawin nila ang kahit ano basta makuhanan lang ng picture...poor guys...


um...scandal din ito! contact me for the full movie kung interested kayo! pili kayo...yun Chinese Tagaytay Scandal (yung kanina sa taas) or eto? take a walk on the wild side! hahaha :p


wala na ko kelangn sabihin. ito si rondel apelo. tignan nyo, at humalakhak ng malakas! :p
__________

o friends! walang personalan to a!!! tawanan lang! love you guys!!! :p

a beautiful woman is a woman who doesn't let you live.

you're always terrified that this woman is going to leave you...

that she's going to get bored and run off with someone else.

maybe it's much better to have a woman

who's not so beautiful but

who becomes somebody very beautiful to you in private.

-Giorgio Armani

my prayer for the past months has been the same. i've been asking God to teach me how to be happy. as in yung simple kind of hapiness lang. nothing intricate, nothing extravagant. just plain and simple happy. on and on it went..i was waiting for some kind of answer. but i wasn't really sure where to look.

could it be getting that dream job?
could it be finding my true love? (man...how cheesy can you get?!)
could it be being able to eat a whole pizza without gaining a pound?
could it be reaching my desired weight?
could it be being allowed to splurge all my money on shoes?
could it be getting to play an almost perfect show?

hindi e. masyado mababaw tong mga to. although i'd be happy, too, if i get to do any of these! :p but what i'm looking for is something long-term not something that'll give me that spontaneous high na di pa nga sure how long maglalast.

and so i continue to wait and listen for an answer. and then this morning, when i woke up, i looked at my phone and i had 4 messages waiting to be read. one of the messages was a quote sent to me by a friend named JC. i dunno...but the message sort of hit me in a way that i never imagined it would. i said to myself, "this is it. this is the answer." i found it uncanny lang that this message came from JC. i call Jesus JC kasi in my prayers to make everything more personal and casual.

"happiness is probably glandular or a matter or temperament. if you are not happy, you better stop worrying about it, and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."

of course, it could be something na wala lang...coincidence lang. but doesn't it make a lot of sense? i mean even if unhappy ako, it's still my choice to be happy or not. it's all a matter of seeing the bright side of everything and obeying what He wants us to do. thing is, sometimes, what He wants us to do makes us really, really unhappy kasi ayaw natin gawin. but this message says it all.

bow.

last saturday, we brought our two pamangkins to EK. it was matthew's birthday last april 21 and the trip was just one of his many presents! hehehe :p he just turned 4!

it was super fun! it's been a while since i've been to an amusement park and i've forgotten how much fun it could be. as soon as we stepped into EK's premises, time made a turn-around and i was a kid again! the place was packed to bursting, though, since many OFWs brought their families along for some sort of family-bonding and it was Unilever's family day, too. but nevertheless, i felt like a kid again...and we all had fun!!!

i realized something, though. going to EK with your barkada to have fun and try to feel like kids again, and going to EK with a 4 year old kid are two different things! roaming the streets, lining up for rides, and going on the rides with a frisky 4 year old, who keeps on pulling your hair and hand, totally changes the picture. i thought it'll make me feel like i'm a yaya or something, but it didn't! in fact, it truly felt like i was a kid again! saya!

i even lost track of the rides we'd gone on. but i remember matthew's eyes sparkling when we rode the hot-air balloon type of ride (i forgot what it's called e!). i remember me getting dizzy! matthew actually sort of got scared on the wheel of fate. but at his young age, he already thinks that he's some macho man and won't admit that he's scared. but he was! he was making siksik to my brother and was not smiling...hehehe! medyo nanahimik sya actually!

my other pamangkin's only a year old. he's too little to go on any of the rides, except for the carousel. but he can't even go on any horse! so he had to sit on one of the carriages with his mom and lola (my mom).

at eto...FIRST TIME KONG SUMAKAY NG SPACE SHUTTLE!!! hehehe! ang loser ba?? i've always been scared but last saturday, i told myself it was now or never...waaaah! nakakatakot!!! well actually nakakainis nga kasi we stood in lnie for almost two hours. buti nalang madami gwapo kaya i wasn't too bored. :p

in fairness, their fireworks display was ok din. had fun watching it. matthew and jeremy were amazed, too. but all the smoke triggered both boys' asthma. hehehe! :p here are some pictures we took. there are more pictures in my phone but i haven't uploaded them yet.

__________________

yikeee!!! takot ako! ang taaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!

di na ko takot kasi dito na si papa! :) -> matthew and my older bro

shhhmyyyyyl! di na ako takot!!!

up, up and away!!!

my one-year-old pamangkin, jeremy, making pa-cute in his very own ride!

i love this shot! parang artsy-fartsy! im the one with one hand up! my other hand was holding on to my pamangkin who was apparently terrified! hehehe :p

My 4-year-old pamangkin, Matthew, posing by the car display. pogi daw sya!

fly, fly, fly!

jeremy with lola and ate tin!

eh?!?

bridge by the tree house with matthew!

and off we go!

yiiiihaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

awww! kapikit si jeremy!

nice!

matthew super enjoyed his 1st EK trip! :)

________________

next stop, beach naman!!! :p

can i be college again?

sitting in front of my PC at 5 in the afternoon...i just woke up from a nap. before that i was jamming with my imaginary friend (ooooooh!)...i talked to bing on the phone...went to the gym...it has been like this for almost 6 months now. lo and behold, i still haven't got a job! mannnnn...I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!

i can't leave the house everyday (though i want to) kasi at this point, it's very jahe to still ask money from my parents. my dad still gives me some every week. but i need to make tipid to the last centavo since i have my phone bill to pay and that occasional one-time-big-time gimmick to go to. waaaaah!

i welcomed this kind of break with wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open arms months and months ago. but after being stagnant for almost 6 months, it's driving me craaaaaaaaaaazy! as in liquid na utak ko kasi di na ko nagiisip! and i already lost my "tan" waaaaay back...the tan that i usually get from being exposed to the sun almost everyday and from commuting.

while talking to bing a while ago, i mentioned that i want to be a student again! then i was looking at old college pictures kanina lang...man! it made me miss college even more! waaah! but i was laughing, too, reminiscing the "nene" days when i had a bob cut! YUP! a bob cut!! ew! i thought i'd share some college pictures here, all of which are taken in classrooms or in any part of the campus. some during that field trip in EK for ENVIPHY or the annual tagaytay thing of the block barkada or the habitat trip! hahaha! wala lang! enjoy!

__________________________




THE EVER MEMORABLE L.S. CLASSROOMS


our first polaroid pic! haha! super nene! as usual missing si baj!!! remember the faces and the names: (L-R) barbie, eds, che, me, hazel



yikee! course card day! um...obviously the grades were ok since lahat naka-smile! this is me, then joel, cherish and edrie!


waaaaah! ang payat ko pa ditoooooooo!!! :((l-r) che, me, barbie, eds, hazel

THE NENE DAYS!!! yaaaak!


the classic "tabing-ilog style" barkada pic. baduy na! cliche na! pero asteeeg naman! bleh!


the ENVIPHY field trip to EK. ohmigosh! supeeeeeeeeeer nene at totoy lahat o!!! that's harold with his back facing the cam. then seated: me (shooooooort hair!), joel, eds, emong (man! i miss this dude!), and cherish!


nang maisip namin magpa-studio pic sa RP. damn! ang baduy nun a!!! kitang-kita na fresh from high school tong mga to o!!!


during one of the debuts of our blockmates! we went to about a dozen i think! man! ang payaaaaat ko dito!!! bakit????(l-r) barbie, me, edrie, yan min

overnight after cherish's debut! 4 words: PAYAT AT MUKHANG INOSENTE!bottom: emong, jonmike, edmiddle: me, baj (wow! she's heeeeere!), cherish (um...), hazel, ivantotback: eds, stephen (OH MY GOD ANG PAYAT MOOOO!), arnold



getting down and dirty finishing the display for Tapat's recruitment thing...hehehe :p the one wearing the blue shirt's Ther, the other one's jade!

COLLEGE TRIPPING!!!


one stupid pose i taught my friends. may inside story to e kaya we find it soooo amusing! this is ed!


and they've caught on pretty well! hehehe!(l-r) Edrie, hazel, emong, cherish


the boys of the block with sir...um...shet! i forgot his name! pero my friend, cholo and his barkada calls him raymart kasi kamukha daw ni raymart e! shet! ano na nga pangalan ulit nito!?!


at don bosco during the BnE 2004 Sports Fest. hehehefront: cherish, me, mae, joannemiddle: emong, eds, chelz, jonmikeback: hazel, stephen, harold

BEING GOOD SAMARITANS AT THE HABITAT


haaaay! ang hirap talaga gumawa ng bahay!


ang F4 ng block! hahahaha! i soooooo love this pic! bagay diba!?!?that's joel, ed, stephen and jonmike!


wala lang!

ANNUAL TAGAYTAY TRIPS


i wasn't there nung first tagaytay trip...sob!(l-r) arnold, ed, jb, joel, eds, hazel, cherish, jonmike, stephen


brrrrr! lamiiiiiiig! the boys were actually super addicted to monopoly...go figure!


awwww!!! miss ko na kayooooooooooooooo!


wala lang! ang saya namin noh?!


um...tagaytay scandal!!!(l-r) arnold, joel, ed (addict sa peanuts), stephen, jonmike


si ed feeling TALL basketball player and ako daw yung #1 fan! hahaha!

nang si michelle ay makagat ng putakte at nagawa pang ngumiti! pesteng putakte yan! we rushed to the clinic after the pic was taken! (taken at the garden of Dencio's)

these guys looooove to pose...and below is what i did to the pic with the help of photoshop! hahaha! this is ed, joel, and stephen at the veranda of joel's place in highlands.


astig noh!?!?

__________________________

courtesy to edrie marie g. bond for the pictures. she's sort of the block camerawoman! hahaha! Gosh! don't you grads miss being a student already?!?

sabi nga ni janice e...ang payat namin noon...pero mas maganda kame NGAYON! hahaha! i couldn't agree more! :p

thank goodness! may jamming sa thursday!

haaay...